Sunday, June 10, 2007

Flat Faith - 3

Often belief can come through a crisis of faith. I told you I was a good little boy, but by the time I became a youth, I had done many things that shamed me. I won't bore you and embarrass myself by recounting them. I am sure they are common to most teenage experiences anyway, but I had this guilt thing, that I was carrying around with me. It was not a conscious burden. It was subliminal and perhaps for a lot of it I assumed responsibility for my family situation. Kids often feel the guilt for parents who divorce, that sort of thing. Well I went to a Christian church camp. I loved camping and had no idea what a church camp would entail. Well a preacher there offered me forgiveness for all my sin if I accepted Jesus as my saviour. The only thing I understood was the forgiveness of sin thing and a new life in place of the old. I became a new person. Perhaps it was the freedom from guilt, or the discovery that God was somehow interested in me as an individual, that did it. I don't know but I was euphoric for days. It was such a powerful experience that it has taken me most of my life to even challenge it. I subsequently joined that Church and believed the teachings they gave. Certainly, I have often questioned, and occasionally modified, my beliefs, but that was simply a beginning. It has been a privilege to see the Church change, sometimes radically. I have been horrified to hear of how the Church invented doctrines to explain wrong practices in the church. To stay honest to a belief, change is essential.

I once told someone about my conversion experience, but he was so sad. He wanted to believe but could not. He said that he was envious of my experience that allowed me to believe.

I thought about his words for a long time. I needed to understand his problem. For me it was so easy. Why was it not so for him? He was searching. I wasn't and when the invitation was made I responded whole-heartedly. I guess that to be an earnest searcher he was a believer already. If one is a believer, small changes are easy, particularly if they are logical, reasonable or obviously more correct than before. Accepting a religion is no reason to accept blindly everything they say. If a faith cannot change with the times, it may be out of date. Even the law of a country changes to accommodate changing circumstances.

One of the most fascinating experiences I have had as a Christian believer is to know God's voice. Now I am not talking about a day-to-day thing, otherwise, I would be a true prophet, but on special occasions, it can be to know things that otherwise would be impossible to know. I explored this phenomenon in my book called Adam's Clay. I could describe it as something I know that I know, or else, as an imperative thought. It not often knowledge about the unknown, but could be something less dramatic like I must write an article on Flat Faith.